Visiting My Accountant

This week, amid all the financial turmoil, I went to see my accountant. Among other things, I asked him what HE was doing with regard to his investments? Was he moving things around? Bailing out of the stock market?

He said that so far, he'd done nothing. But he had taken a big hit that day, because he was heavily invested in Wachovia, which had just tanked, leaving stockholders in the lurch. Having ventured that far into the personal, I decided to risk more. I asked him who he was planning to vote for. John McCain, was the unfortunate answer.

I'm afraid I instinctively cringed, going into a crouch. But, but, but, what about Sarah Palin? I asked. Aren't you worried about her? No, he said, because I think she's the best of all four candidates. In that moment, my mind expanded to include the possibility of everything.

I suppose, I stammered weakly, that working in the field of finance, you inevitably vote Republican. I was trying to make this be okay. He's been my accountant for many years! Oh no, he said, I always vote the candidate! Yikes! At this point I just fell silent. There wasn't any place to go from here. If it's any consolation, my accountant then said, as if to reassure me, I think Obama is gonna win.

Were I moderating one of the debates, the first thing I would want ask is how, given an economy that is now on life support, can we possibly continue to wage wars that cost $12 billion a month? What is the plan for financing these astronomical sums, when our financial institutions are imploding, one by one, and credit is frozen? Then I'd want to know how and why the GOP is getting away with undermining the legislative probe in Alaska regarding illegal antics during Palin's gubernatorial tenure? In a replay of Washington, subpoenas have been issued, but no one is talking. Why isn't there a huge stink about this? And lastly, I want to hear the candidates' views on Armageddon. Sarah, it seems, has claimed she has a "special role," along with Alaska, in facilitating End Times. I want the whole story here too.

After the first presidential debate, I read something that interested me. Many people noticed, and commented unfavorably, on the fact that John McCain failed to ever look at Obama. Ultimately it lost him a lot of ground. A psychologist blogging on the Internet claimed it was because McCain was afraid of Obama. He based this assessment on his extended studies of monkey behavior. Low-ranking monkeys, it seems, never look at high ranking monkeys. "In a physical, instinctive sense," the psychologist wrote, "Obama owned McCain tonight, and I think the instant polling reflects that."

Someone else also observed that at the end of the debate, Obama walked towards Michelle, looked her in the eye and kissed her. McCain waited for Cindy to come to him, and it was Cindy who gave him a kiss. "To me," the man wrote, "this is very telling about how these two men see and treat women. Obama seems to be the type of man who sees their wife as equals, combining love and affection with respect. On the other hand, McCain seems to belong to the traditional sense of 'macho' men, head of the family type, who love their wife but at the same time expect a certain degree of obedience, like listen to me, come to me, do as I say."

I have to say I noticed a moment like this myself. After a campaign appearance, as shown on TV, McCain and Cindy were walking together down a corridor and he was accosted by a reporter. I was astonished at the way he just left Cindy behind, abandoned her, and walked on ahead talking with the reporter. I saw her stop dead in her tracks behind him for several seconds, with a "what am I--chopped liver?" kind of look on her face. I could almost hear the words inside her head: "Oh fuck, not again!" I can really relate to that look of absolute pique, because I've seen it on the faces of many friends whenever the name John McCain comes up in the conversation.