Two Extremes

Last week I read an essay by someone who claims he is obsessed with George W. Bush. (Join the club.) He says he loathes him with an intensity that makes his stomach hurt.

This man spends hours Googling "George W. Bush low IQ" (500,000 hits), "George W, Bush stubborn asshole" (67,000 hits), "George W. Bush "revolting narcissist" (23,200 hits).

I report this to my irrepressible, trickster alligator-muse for some lightning insight.

"Crikey!' Virgil responds with a perceptible wince. "Do you suppose he's actually read them all?"

It's a fair question, but I don't know the answer. What does occur to me is that he could have been studying the Kama Sutra, or hotfooting it in a lizard's costume like Fred Astaire, instead of being plugged into a machine all day, downloading all those useless bits and pieces of information.

"Do you suppose President Bush Googles himself?" Virgil asks.

I tell him that somehow I doubt it. I don't think George has much use for computers. For one thing, by his own account, he hardly ever reads, so I think he'd be very twitchy among the pixels. He does, however, know a few good card tricks. And as a pampered sultan and leader of the free world, he sure kicks up a lot of sand.